What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem refers to your overall sense of self-worth — how much you value and respect yourself. It influences your mental health, relationships, career, and quality of life. Healthy self-esteem involves a realistic, positive view of yourself: neither arrogant nor self-deprecating.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
- Persistent negative self-talk ("I'm not good enough") - Difficulty accepting compliments - Fear of failure or making mistakes - People-pleasing behavior - Difficulty setting boundaries - Comparing yourself unfavorably to others - Avoiding challenges due to fear of failure
Evidence-Based Strategies to Build Self-Esteem
### 1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) research shows that negative self-talk is often distorted and inaccurate. When you notice a negative thought about yourself, ask: "Is this thought based on facts or feelings? Would I say this to a friend?"
### 2. Practice Self-Compassion
Research by Dr. Kristin Neff shows that self-compassion — treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a good friend — is more effective than self-esteem building for long-term wellbeing. Self-compassion involves acknowledging your struggles without judgment.
### 3. Set and Achieve Small Goals
Each time you set a goal and achieve it, you build evidence that you are capable. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually increase the challenge. This creates a positive feedback loop of competence and confidence.
### 4. Identify and Use Your Strengths
Research in positive psychology shows that identifying and regularly using your character strengths improves wellbeing and self-esteem. Take time to identify what you are genuinely good at and find ways to use those strengths daily.
### 5. Limit Social Comparison
Social comparison — especially on social media — is one of the most powerful drivers of low self-esteem. Research consistently shows that upward social comparison (comparing yourself to people who seem better off) reduces self-esteem. Limit exposure to content that triggers unfavorable comparisons.
### 6. Seek Therapy
For persistent low self-esteem, therapy is highly effective. CBT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and schema therapy all have strong evidence for improving self-esteem. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of low self-esteem and develop personalized strategies.
Measure Your Self-Esteem
Take our free Self-Esteem Test based on the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale to get a baseline measurement of your current self-esteem level.